Theosophic Misfits

blackrose · Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:13 pm Post subject: What's in a Name?

AKA 'Neopagan No More'

Words have power... This is true of true names... but it's also true of labels, at least to some degree... at least to people, like me, who believe that words have power...

It's just one of my little personality quirks but, for me, the notion of self-discovery has always gone hand-in-hand with self-definition... with finding where I belong in the scheme of things... with knowing who I am both intuitively but also intellectually...

I need to know the words that go with the music...

Of course, the process of self-exploration is, ultimately, an endless endeavor... because while the core of your Selfdom may remain essentially the same, there are other parts of your Selfdom - or parts which relate to your Selfdom - which can change with time... with experience...

For a long time I have self-identified, on some level, as Neopagan... but it's always been turbulent. There are those, like Darkk, who don't see me as a Neopagan but as one of the old skool "Pagan". I was uncomfortable with this, too, because while I am an animist I am not a Recon... I felt that while I had an old belief, I most definitely modernized it to my own understandings of the world...

Besides, I never entirely liked the term Pagan at all, whether Neo or not, because far too many people cling to the denotation of "anything not of the Big Three" and this term is so vague as to be useless...

I defined Paganism on my own terms... but therein lies part of the problem...

Once upon a time I believed Neopaganism to be the bastion of the modern spiritual intellectuals... I have since been seriously disabused of this notion, but I held onto my ideals... my hopes. I wanted it to be what I had thought it was... what I dreamed it could be... what I still think it should be... I fought against the tide which came to sweep away my notions...

Darkk asked me time and time again while I still cling to the term... Partially it's because I wanted somewhere to fit in... someplace to belong... but this was self-defeatist because all my various arguments did was highlight how much I don't belong...

Part of it was just sheer bull-headed stubbornness. I wouldn't let them win, damnit! Why should I give in? Don't I have just as much right to the term as they do? They're the ones who say Neopaganism is too individualized to define... with no dogma and no doctrine... no coherent single belief system... so why shouldn't I make it my own?

Problem is, despite the many claims to the otherwise, I do feel like 'Neopaganism' has developed a set of beliefs and practices... in a lot of ways Neopaganism has just become another term for Neowicca - it follows some semblance of the Wheel of the Year, the Rede... the "all gods are one God" belief, the MMC motif... compounded by all the vague, New Agey, pseudo-Buddhistic notions of karma, enlightenment, and other slap-happy silliness...

While it's not fair to all the Neopagans out there - the term Neopagan has, to me, become synonomous with fluffy, New Age, self-righteous bullshit... and I'm tired of fighting against it. Perhaps I never had a right to try to mold it into my ideals... perhaps they didn't have the right to take an alleged umbrella term and essentially co-opt it into some generalized muck of a dime-store spirituality... Maybe we're all wrong to fight over a label...

But, regardless, I am eshewing the label... I couldn't say it withough a self-conscious twinge, anyway, precisely because of the various connotations... and since I can not change those connotations, I will merely walk away from them...

This isn't to say that I won't still loosely associate myself with "paganism". There are other paths... traditions and individual paths... And socially I will still be a part of the larger realm of Paganism...

But, individually, if asked... I will just be an animist... Or maybe an animistic theosophist, if I feel like being fancy. Of course this means I will have to explain what that means, a lot... but it can't be any worse than saying "Well, I'm a Neopagan... but not that kind of Neopagan... " In fact I think it will be a lot better because I won't start of being apologetic and self-defensive...

So all those idealistic rants about what Neopaganism should be... well, I still believe them, as ideals... and I still think people might be better off embracing some of them... but, then, don't we all? I need to let go of my savior complex and stop trying to fix the world... They either don't want fixing or they have their own ideas on how to do it... so may they be happy in their paths, as I hope to be happy in mine with no longer trying to fight against the tide of popular opinion...

I'll just float off onto my own little creek... and may we all be better off for it...
_________________
"... he who dares not grasp the thorn... should not crave the rose..."

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting. --e. e. cummings

Impqueen · Acolyte Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Posts: 139 Location: Essex, GB

You know I worry sometimes that you always seem to be a few miles further down the road I seem to be treading.... sigh. Razz

At the moment I know a few real life Neopagans who give me hope.... Embarassed

In this secular atheistic world I think it's hard enough to identify as religious but to then find yourself in a group where some people express literal belief in unicorns and waffle about Atlantis and crystal vibrations.... Unfortunately I think NeoPaganism (and Paganism as a whole to some extent) has been claimed as a part of something (the new age movement) which ultimately it helped to parent.

You are lucky to have Darkk to talk to about this stuff. Sometimes I wish MrK were more spiritual but then I remember a lot of my problems seem to come from a lack of grounding and he's as grounded as you can get ....
_________________
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-Einstein

blackrose · Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 7:33 am Post subject:

I wonder if I should post this on PF...since some of the people there helped solidify my position... Ha...

Seriously, tho... I agree that there are a few people in my aquaintance who are Neo who are also not total fluff or idiots... but they are a rarity and maybe they'll give up the ghost, too... who knows?

But, yeah, I can't stand the New Agey stuff which has become dominant...

And, yeah - I've sort of always been lucky in that regard... I've always had some people I could talk to. And Darkk is a lot more grounded than I generally am, too Smirk or grin

_________________
"... he who dares not grasp the thorn... should not crave the rose..."

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting. --e. e. cummings